"Better Than Nothing At All"

 I don't want to have to build this
I don't want to have to fit in
I don't want to have to need someone
But I do..

I don't want to have to attract boys
I don't want to have to be here
I don't want to have to eat to fill a hole
But I do..

But it's better than nothing at all
But it's better than nothing at all

I don't want to have to be angry at you
I don't want to have to blame it on my father
I don't want to feel sick around you
But I do..

I don't want to ever fall in love
I don't want to feel so insecure
I don't want to have to write this to explain
Still I do

This feels better than nothing at all 

"Just A Little Bit"

Just a little bit stronger
Just a little bit wiser
Just a little less needy
And maybe I'd get there

Just a little bit pretty
Just a little more aware
Just a little bit thinner
And maybe I'd get there

Clearly, clearly I remember
Hiking up my skirt
Asking for your time
Clearly, clearly I remember
Nervous if ever confronted
And questioning myself

Perhaps, perhaps if I got better
Perhaps if I challenged myself
Perhaps if I was

Just a little bit stronger
Just a little bit wiser
Just a little less needy

Maybe I'd get there...

Clearly, clearly I remember
Pulling up my shirt
Staring blank ahead
Clearly, clearly I remember
Days of useless crying
Almost feeling dead

Perhaps, perhaps if I was smaller
Perhaps I could control myself
Perhaps if I was

"Free"

 I`ve been walking around all day, thinking
I think I have a problem, I think I think too much
I`ve been tought to hold back my tears and avoid them
But you've made pain into something I could touch

I`ve been walking around all day, laughing
Think I`d be better off without you here
And I bet you are sweet and hard to get over
So I`ll cry and people will stop and stare
Now thats ok, let them stop and stare

Coz I am fragile
I am hopeless
I'm not perfect
But I am free

I`ve been walking around all day, waiting
And waiting is all I seem to do
Cause I never get it unless I`m fed it
But this time I'll just have to
Yeah this time I'll just have to

Say you're not around... am I finished?
If you`re not around that's too bad
Hope you´re safe and sound, not alone now
Cause you know I belive in you


I am so fragile
I am so hopeless
I'm not perfect
But I am free...

"Nevermind Me"

What is the game we're playing?
Should I stick around for more?
Snap your fingers I'll coming running
Leave again when you're bored
With me
I'll make it easy

Nevermind me, nevermind me
I'll just cast shadows on your walls
Nevermind me, nevermind me
My God I feel so small
Nevermind me, nevermind me
I'll just cast shadows on your walls
Nevermind me, nevermind me
I'll just let myself out

This facade that I'm stuck with
has got me wondering
Just tell me how you want me
And I'll be naked stumbling
Just to get a reaction,bany signs of love

Bottle up your smile
Pour it in a cup
I'll be on my way
Once I've sobered up

"Internal Dialogue"

It must have been hard staying in line
knowing your influences did it all the time
It must have been strange living in blue
And see me shut down as though
It was an easy thing to do
But you could tell where I had been
By the way I held my gun
Trying to write anything while being
Mocked by an off beat drum

But I was not honest
I was not healthy
I was not honest, honest

You did the right thing covered your scars
Challenged your faith
And closed your eyes driving cars
For all that they knew you were safe home
But you went through hell
whenever you were left alone

But you could see where I had been
In the pictures that they took
I tied to look positive at things
Faced myself but didn't look

That was not honest
I was not healthy
I am not honest, honest.

I wish you could see yourself through my eyes
There's no need to cling to unnecessary lies
The voice in your head whose spirit you stole
Left you for dead but you dug the hole

And I could see where you had been
From the marks around your wrists
The red water washed around your sins
But are you as pure as this?
No you are not honest
You are not healthy
You are not honest, honest

"My Lullaby"

Mom please tell me what to do
I'm so disappointed in you
You said those words that made me cry
And you always wondered why
why I sing my lullaby

Mom please hurry home to me
I waited up so patiently
You sat down and start to cry
But you never ask me why
Why I sing my lullaby

Was it my fault they lead you in the wrong direction
Was it my fault they didn't show you any affection
I show you and I start to cry
still you always wonder why
Why I sing my lullaby

Mom why love me if your cold
You'll just get bitter then grow old
Ask me when I start to weep
Then I'll tell you in my sleep
Why I sing my lullaby

"Shadow"

I wish you'd see it on my face
But I'm caught up in those long lost days
And how can I then make you see
When I don't even know me

Following my footsteps home
This time I'm walking alone
Trying hard to be someone
I don't even know

I feel like a shadow
Walking behind who you think I am
Just like my shadow
Wanting to see the sun again
I'm your shadow
And I'm lost
Just like my shadow

Thought I'd light me bright and new
But my candle burnt out long before you
Now I'm the one who's got to pay
I'm finding me a better day

"A Few Small Bruises"

Out here on the ledge
I'm not far away from stepping off
I finally picked out my cloud
It's the one over there surrounded by all that air

You reached out your hand
And said "I understand"
So why not come down?

Well except for a few small bruises, cuts and scars I'm fine
Oh except for a few small bruises, cuts and scars I'm fine

Thank you for asking!
I'm so glad we had this moment here alone
I know they think I'm crazy
But everything I am is everything I was taught to be

As you read my words out loud
Make me sound genius
Make me sound special
And mabye I'll come down

"Just Hold Me"

Comfortable as I am
I need your reassurance
Comfortable as you are
You count the days
But if I wanted silence - I would whisper
If I wanted loneliness - I'd choose to go
If I liked rejection - I'd audition
And if I didn't love you - you would know

So why can't you just hold me
how come it's so hard?
Do you like to see me broken?
Why do I still care?

You say you see the light now
At the end of this narrow hall
I wish it didn't matter
I wish I didn't give you all

Poor little misunderstood baby
No one likes a sad face
But I can't remember life without him
I think I did have good days
I think I did have good days 

"Calm Under The Waves"

I walk barefoot where the water drowns the sand
With you no longer here to hold my hand
I let go
I let go

The ocean makes my swelling heart feel small
With the sounds it makes you won't hear it if I call
I let go
I let go

There's a breeze in the air
There's a boat anrchored out here
There's a calm under the waves so I choose to sink

Your skin protected me from sunbeams
Your hands made sure I'd stay intact
I let go
I let go

You were always there to walk me home
With you not here the streets I roam
I let go
I let go

There's a breeze in the air
There's a boat anrchored out here
There's a calm under the waves as I choose to sink
With your voice in my head
I would float here instead
But there's a calm under the waves
So I choose to sink

I'm tired now
I'll see you when I wake up
I've heard it's pretty where you are
I let go
I let go
There's a breeze

 

"He's Hurting Me"

I've never been confronted with my own thouhts
They don't bother me when I'm alone
Can you come over save me because he won't stop
Now get him off his fucking throne
Caution the floor's wet in here, been crying
I don't know why he seems convinced I'm lying
I don't know what he's capable of doing
but he's hurting me

It's not his fault I made him lose his temper
I should know better not to talk to loud
There's no one out there who could love me better
I'm not like you, you are too proud

Caution the floor's wet in here been crying
I don't know why he seems convinced I'm lying
I don't know what he's capable of doing
But he's hurting me

Don't leave me
Please believe me
Baby there is
I can explain
Please love me
Please need me

"Our Battles"

Our battles are repetious
If not broken poetry
And maybe that's the attraction
That you're as self-absorbed as me

You jumped to the conclusion
And landed on my chest
Now how am I supposed to make you see

I'll just write this down
With hopes that you'll understand
I can no longer be disciplined by
The frustration of an insecure man
And as I kiss your face you'll know that
I can no longer apologize
For your former lover's mistakes

My past is mine to keep
Who are you to question me?
Perhaps someday you'll learn
Too bad
It's not our turn 


 

"Long Time Coming"

Your patronizing stare can watch me heal
What I would give for you to tae the wheel
It's just been a long time coming
The strong resemblance to my mother's womb
Is the reason why I will not leave this room
It's been a long time coming

The lack of self-esteem has grown on me
I'm not as strong as I appear to be
It's been a long time coming

My lullaby sounds more like distant screams
I wake up sleep deprived after every dream
It's been a long time coming

My flesh makes little sense compared to yours
I wish my restlessness would open doors
It's just been a long time coming

 

"Come In Over Me"

 You'll get the urge to push me down
Only to learn I resurface
I am the place where you feel safe and sound
But I am gonna make you scream
I am gonna crush your dreams
Maybe you're on to my conspiracy
But baby you fail to learn the details
You like the fact that I am hard to read
I am gonna hurt you bad and
Give you love you've never had
Baby try to leave me
I will hunt you down and you know that
Baby try to love me
I will make you hurt
Come in over me
Come in over me

"Crowded Train"

 I'm always on your side
Every time you decide to hide
And I'm careful with my steps
Never make a move I will regret

And I'm stuck on this crowded train
Carrying a world of pain
And I'm stuck on this crowded train
Going down, going down, down

I'm boxing shadows again
And I'll always be somebody's friend
That's what scares me the most
Loving what will remain, I suppose

If I forget your face
Inbetween these busy days
What will become of me?
What will become of me?

"Those Who Caved In"

I wouldn´t let them hurt you
I wouldn´t let them scream
You´d listen to my stories
And got back to your dreams

Stayed down on first floor
Layed low with me
I saw your pieces so magically

And how is everything in the real world
Is anybody left there sane?
Think it´s time for you to join the minority again

Cause they won´t say they´re sorry
They won´t know you´re there
They won´t sacrifice anything to have you near
They won´t realize you´re gone before it´s too late
And painful is the ways of those who caved in and you´re too great

I understood you, I got your ways
You cried your heart out
And I held your face

And tell me if you´re ever feeling down
I´ll open up and turn this world around
You´re no one if you´re just another one, of them

"When It Rains"

When it rains
Do you sleep through it?
Do you face the day?
Do I make you feel like your in the way?
And when it's sunny
Do you stick around?
When it shines
And I come by your house to close the blinds

And you, you change
Cause I hardly ever see you
When it rains, Oh when it rains
Could you call me please?
And make my day

When it rains we get worried dear
Do you think that we don't want you here?
And under the blue sky you're no longer safe
You're no longer mine
And you said you would come rain or shine

When it rains
Do you sleep through it?
Do you face the day?
Do I make you feel like you're in the way?
And when it's sunny
Do you stick around?
When it shines
And I come by your house to close the blinds